Dust bitten.

Another one bites the dust.

Out of the blue, I was contacted by A last night, telling me that Shaun is no longer walking this earth with us. His travels to the great beyond has been cut abruptly, by a train accident of some sort. Feeling the blood drain from my extremities and gushing to the empty pits of my stomach was surreal. I've always talked about wanting to feel alive, but last night, I felt what it was like to have life sucked out of a person. The numbing of every cell in the body, the loss of comprehension, the lack on cohesion, the obliteration of sensation, and the deafening silence that just screamed in my ear. Death came knocking to deliver the news that one of the brighter guiding lights on earth has been put out.

Shaun, we met at a time when I was a mess. It was a time when I cried as hard as we did party hard. You saw me evolve from a soggy wreck, into something stronger. Perhaps harder. But nevertheless, I always had a soft spot for you and the happiness that you gave my kindred spirit. Although it meant me losing a much required pillar of support, I felt happy for you two that you had found each other. It was trying times for us both, and you were there to lift one of us out. For that, I am thankful.

Some may say that we hedonistically indulged in mind numbing substances. I choose to see it as us exploring the deeper realms of our human existence. I always enjoyed visits from you both, totally fucked outta your heads and giving me the biggest bone crunching hugs with loads of kisses to follow. Baby kisses. They were our signature gifts to each other. I wonder if your soul still remembers those baby kisses.

After things ended and everyone moved on, we all lost contact. The group disbanded, and everyone living at River Valley just drifted apart like an explosion of spores. Nothing lasts forever.

But I would follow your adventures through life, peeping occasionally at your travels. I saw that you left Singapore, and ventured North where life is simpler, and the people more genuine. I felt happy for you. You were living my dream of a vegabond. A beach bum that abandoned the materialistic chase that everyone at home seem to live for. You don't know it, but your lifestyle inspires me to keep it real, and it keeps me grounded to what I believe in. At times, I lose track of it, but you always post something at a time when I need it. What will I do without your posts now?

Shaun D'Cruz, you have an amazing smile that always reminds me of the sun breaking from behind dark clouds. I hope you're adding that sunshine to wherever you are, because this world is that much darker now that you aren't around.

You will be missed dearly.